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Tag Archives: stress


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Pushy People

There are certain things that people do that I just don’t understand. One of those things is trying to control what other people do. Yes, we have rules and they are there for good reason. You should always stop at a stop sign, don’t take other people’s things, and don’t hurt other people on purpose.
But when other people try to tell you what to think, how to feel, or what to do with your life, I don’t get it. Why do other people think they know how you should live your life better than you? Why do others think they have any authority over another person?

I feel that so many people feel entitled.  That’s right, entitled to think that their opinion should matter to everyone; that somehow they are smarter than you and everyone else.  The biggest problem I have with this, is when that person is a close-minded person.  You’ve probably heard the saying, “Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one”. It should be no surprise then, when others do not share the same opinion as you.

If you don’t like something, then don’t do it.  Don’t think that anyone else cares that you don’t like it.

If someone’s lifestyle makes you uncomfortable, then just leave them be.  Most people have enough to deal with, leave them alone.

If someone else has a different faith than you do, leave them alone and go about your own business.  They probably think the same about you.

If you don’t like the way someone dresses, then don’t dress that way yourself.  You’re not a fashionista, get over it.

I have a problem with the “holier than thou” attitude I see so much of in today’s society.  You’re no better than anyone else. Get off your high horse long enough to see that you’re just on the merry go round of life.  We all are.

I can’t stand oppression.  I just can’t.  I  don’t understand it. Most of the people screaming on their soapboxes can’t even keep their own lives straight, yet they feel that everyone should listen and do what they think is right.  They try to keep other people down, they don’t want to see anyone else happy or successful.

Every one of us has a truly unique life and each of us gets to live that life the way we see fit.  Some of us have more difficult lives than others it seems, but each of us is fighting our own battle.  We each have our own demons to face down and kill for us to grow.  Some people seem to be handed everything, yet are unhappy.  And sometimes those who struggle for everything are the happiest people.  Its all up to each of us how we live our lives.  And if you don’t like how others are doing it, then just live your own life and stop worrying about everyone else’s.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.  Just think of how much nicer this world would be if we still believed in this.  But in our current world of internet trolling and bullying, its hard to imagine.  Its so easy for everyone to hide behind their computer and type out crazy things they would never actually say to someone’s face.  So perhaps for our day and age, we need to change it.  Perhaps now we need to say “If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t type it in the comments section.”  What do you think?

 


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Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

 

 

 


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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger…or does it?

That seems to be the catch-all answer for anyone who’s having a hard day or going through a tough time in their lives.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  It makes sense, you survive the trial and you’re a better person because of it.  We all have trials in our lives that tax us, hurt us, and make us learn something, even if its painful.  Sometimes we lose loved ones, and have to learn to live without them in our lives.

But what about situations that just wear you down?  What about the problems that never get fixed and never go away?  Do they make you stronger too? Or do they just keep beating you down?  What about people who don’t even realize that they are sabotaging their dreams by the choices they make? Do they get stronger?  Or do they just keep getting further and further in the hole?  What about harmful addictions? They really can kill you, and its not making you stronger.  What about your attitude toward life?  Are you grateful? Or do you only see the bad things in life, never giving thanks for the good things?

I think the true answer here, is that you have to realize there is a problem and define it before you can do anything about it.  You have to face the reality that something is happening over and over in your life, and the only way to make it stop is to acknowledge it.  If you keep hiding from these problems, and pushing them away, they never get fixed.  And if they never get fixed, they can’t make you stronger.

Instead of pushing away the things that bother you, go ahead and introduce them, feel them, hold them in your heart and ask yourself, “Why?”.  Make yourself aware of the fact that this problem is in your life for a reason, perhaps to teach you something, perhaps from poor choices you have made in your life. Nonetheless, it is there, and you are the only one who can make it leave.  It could be a bad habit, an addiction, or choosing friends and significant others poorly.  It could be a dead-end job, or a career path you wish you wouldn’t have followed.  It could be your health and diet, and having a body you don’t like.  It could be school and family problems that you can’t see a way out of.  There are so many things it could be, but if you don’t acknowledge it, and realize that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS, it won’t change.  Nothing changes unless you want it to change.

NOTHING IN THIS LIFE CHANGES UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE IT!

You are the only one who can take the initiative to choose something else for your life.  You are only in control of you, and no matter how much you want it, you can’t change other people.  Believe me, its taken me awhile, but I’ve learned this.  You are in charge of you, everyone else is not your business.  Its great to be supportive to others, but you have to realize that you can’t change them or even make them see what they don’t want to see.  They are the only ones who can change themselves, just as you can only change you.  Sometimes its hard to watch someone you love continue to keep choosing the destructive path, the path that keeps them stuck.  But all you can do is point it out, keep them in your prayers, and hope for the best.

How does one initiate change?  You have to want it.  You have to choose the other path.  You have to say, “I’m going to change”, and then do it!  Choose to be grateful.  Choose to see the good things in life.  Choose to see that you are a beautiful person.  Ask for help for things you cannot do by yourself.  Get counseling. Get help.  Stop the reckless behavior.  Stop putting yourself down.  Stop wallowing in self pity.  Love yourself.  Love your life.  And try your hardest to choose love in everything you do.


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What’s Your Opinion?

I can be a very opinionated person.  I have a very strong belief system and I defend my beliefs.   An opinion is simply a belief or view or judgment formed about something.  We all have them.  Some have more than others.

Every person is entitled to their own opinion about anything.  Here in the United States we have the freedom of speech, and we have the right to voice our opinions.  However, its important to remember that not everyone has the same opinion, and even though you can voice your opinion, I don’t have to listen.

What makes some people feel the need to express their opinion to people they barely know, with no invitation?  What makes these people think that their opinion means anything to people they don’t know?

This is one of the things I’ve been pondering over this Christmas holiday.  It seems like I meet one of these people every year or two.  But what makes a person act like this? I’m not talking about your outspoken friend talking to you, I’m talking about that person who has just met you, or is in your line at the store, or the person behind you in line at the buffet who makes unkind or rude comments about your choice of food.

The one theme I see in people like this is ignorance.  People who don’t take the time to learn about a situation and just try to judge others are very ignorant.  People who try to tell you what they think or believe without being invited into the conversation are rude, discourteous, and lacking manners.

I know I have acted this way as well, especially when I was younger.  Its something I try very hard not to do.  These rules are obviously not for close friends, they are my rules for meeting new people and talking to people you don’t know well:

NEVER insert your opinion where its not wanted. How do you know if it’s wanted?  The person will ask you for it if they want it. If they don’t ask, keep your yap shut.

NEVER criticize other adults for their choices.  Its not your life, you don’t get to choose for anyone except yourself.  If you don’t like the way someone else did it, then don’t do it that way yourself, and keep your yap shut.

And lastly, you can judge people all you want in your head, but keep your yap shut.  Karma is a bitch. You reap what you sow.  Once you start judging others out loud, you will become the target of those who will judge you as harshly as you judge others.

I can tell you from experience that when you try to insert your opinion into someone else’s life, they generally aren’t going to like it, especially if it doesn’t agree with theirs.  When people do any of these things to me, or breaks my rules, it creates an instant dislike of that person.  Is this me judging?  Yes, it is.  As an adult, I get to decide who my friends are, and who I talk to.  There are so many negative people in this world, I try my hardest to make sure I don’t add any of them into my  circle of friends, or even my list of acquaintances.

Since I have started choosing the people I allow into my life more carefully, I have become a much happier person.  I surround myself with people who are also tolerant, loving, and peaceful.  I reject those who are abrasive, self-serving, or disrespectful of my life’s beliefs.  Every one of us gets to choose who we let in; respect yourself and make purposeful choices.


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How to Get a Cat to Take a Pill

I love animals, so it makes sense that I have a few pets.  A part of owning pets is the veterinarian.  I have been very lucky to find two wonderful vets to help take care of my beautiful companions.  One of my friends is a 14 year old cat named Dude.  Dude has a thyroid problem and has to take a pill every day.

If you’ve ever needed to give a pill to a cat, you may know my struggle.  He hates them, and seems to be able to find the pill in anything I put it in, rejecting it and leaving it laying on the floor.  I have tried everything from peanut butter (which works great for the dogs) to butter, cheese, and cat food treats.  He always spits it out.  But then I found:

PROSCIUTTO

Prosciutto is a dry cured ham sliced very thinly and is popular in Italian cuisine.  Yes, its a bit spendy sometimes, but so are vet bills.  I take a piece of prosciutto big enough to wrap the pill in twice over, and Dude eats it every time.  When I open the bottle of pills, he now comes running, eager for his “treat”.  He used to run and hide.

I know this post may seem trivial, but some of the little things in life are the thing that cause us stress.  I used to spend up to 20 minutes trying to get this cat to take the pill, chasing it around the house, and sometimes getting scratched as I tried to make him eat it.  Now it takes 2 minutes, no one gets hurt, and he enjoys his treat.

Its the simple things in life that make me smile.  And the prosciutto tastes great wrapped around a piece of fresh mozzarella too.


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Christmas is Over

Christmas is finally over.

That sounds so terrible when I read it, but that’s how I’ve gotten to feel over the years.  Run, run, run. Try to buy presents for too many people, spend too much money; and what to get for Grandma who has everything?  And then wrap, pack, haul to the parties, unwrap, pack, haul back to my house. And then I have to put the things away, find homes for new items, and decide what to do with the ones they replaced.  Did I forget anyone?  And then the neighbor shows up with a gift.  Do I have time to grab something from the closet to re-gift?  What about a card?

Luke 2: In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

As Christmas becomes more and more commercialized, we are growing further and further away from the true meaning of Christmas.

What if we removed the gifts sector from Christmas?  Christmas would still happen, it would still be December 25.  The sun would rise with the absence of Santa Claus, and the sun would set, marking another day from the calendar.  But then I would miss it.  I love giving gifts to people I love, but I don’t like the frantic-ness of the holiday season.  Everything builds up for weeks and weeks, and then, its over.  Its over.  Some children receive so many gifts, they are so overwhelmed by all the stuff, and they can’t even play with it all.  I get overwhelmed trying to buy gifts for everyone, and it’s hard because I don’t even know what they all like, or what they already have.

I remember when I was a young girl, my mom read all the stories from the “Little House on the Prairie” series to my sister and me.  Their Christmas was very simple, with handmade gifts and a few pieces of candy.  The gifts they gave and received were very special and from the heart.  They were true gifts, of time and love, and they were appreciated by the receiver I think probably much more than the gifts we give now.

And what if we were able to hush all the running to parties and rehearsals and shopping and concerts.  The world has gotten so much bigger, yet so much smaller.  We have too much to do and not enough time to do it.  And once the children are grown, we have to plan around their schedules too, if we want them to come along.  And what if your family lives an airplane ride away?  There’s all that to contend with as well.  How does anyone pull off the perfect Christmas?

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

I don’t think we can.  I think the only way is to remember the reason for Christmas, remember that manger with the newborn baby.  Imagine the chaos of Mary and Joseph’s first Christmas.  I guess maybe ours isn’t so bad after all.  I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!


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Holiday Stress!!

I want to know why people get so stressed out about Christmas.  Is it:

1. Spending time with family when there’s at least one that you really don’t like?

2. Trying to find the perfect gift?

3. Buying things you can’t afford?

4. Or is it trying to buy the perfect gift you can’t afford for someone you don’t like?

I know that there can be stress and anxiety associated with the holiday season, regardless of your religious affiliation.  Whether it be financial stress, stress about running out of time, or just the stress of having to see all those people, stress is generally not a good feeling.  I personally would love to be able to give each person on my gift list that special something that would wow their socks off.  But I’m a realist, and I know that’s not going to happen.  I don’t have that special intuitiveness that tells me what everyone loves, especially those that I only see once or twice a year.  I just have to settle with a gift that lets them know I was thinking of them.

And for those people you have to put up with at your celebration, just try to give thanks that you don’t have to live with them.  (If you do, you need a lot more help than my blog can offer!)  Try to be amiable, and not get involved with their drama.  If they try to start something, just say, “Excuse me”, and walk away.  It may sound rude, but its much nicer than punching them.

As far as financial stress is concerned, if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.  Sounds simple enough.  It can be hard, but there are so many nice hand-made gifts one can give that cost much less than buying that gift.  Learn how to crochet, make handmade cards, make some cookies and candy, and give those instead. Chances are, your family knows you are struggling and don’t want to add to your burden!  No one wants you to go into debt to buy them a trinket.  Your presence is always more important than the presents.

So try not to let the holidays stress you out.  Grab a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or whatever is your drink of preference, and look through those old photos of Christmas past.  I rarely remember what I got for gifts, but I always treasure the memories of those who are no longer with us.

Merry Christmas!


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Every Breath You Take

Are you a shallow breather?

Take a deep breath.  Did your chest rise?  Not sure? Put one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly.  Take a deep breath.  Which hand moved?  If it was the hand on your chest, you’re breathing in shallow breaths. Why does this matter?  There are numerous health risks involved here, like decreased mental focus, less refreshing sleep, and higher blood pressure.

Try taking a deep breath through your nose for five seconds and use the air to push your belly out instead. Hold this air for a second or two and then exhale through your mouth also counting to five.  Do this a few times.  Did you notice a difference?

When we breathe in these deep belly breaths, we get more oxygen into our system.  The transfer of oxygen actually takes place in the bottom of our lungs.  When we breathe belly breaths, we get more oxygen into our lungs and into our bodies, and this makes us feel less stressed out! (My chiropractor told me this, and she was right!)

Anytime we feel stressed out or anxious, we can use this simple technique to relax.  If you practice this often, it will become the way you naturally breathe, again, like you did when you were a baby, and you will feel refreshed when you get enough oxygen. And when you feel refreshed, you just flat out feel happier. Take the challenge to breathe these deep belly breaths at least two or three times a day and see if you notice the difference.