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Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

 

 

 


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Your Resolution Solution!!

Have you made a New Year’s Resolution?

Its been three days, how are you doing?

A lot of people aspire to lose weight, or exercise more, or eat better.  It seems like it is usually health related, either mental health or physical health.  But the thing with resolutions is: most people break them and then just give up.

If you want to be healthier, there are lots of ways to do this.  But the number one way to be healthier is to eat healthy food.  You are what you eat, and if you eat a bunch of junk, well, you get the picture.  The easiest way to eat healthier is to start at the grocery store.  If you don’t buy junk food, it has no way of getting into your house!!  When you have healthy food in your house, that’s generally what you will eat if you’re hungry. (But ALWAYS read the label on what you are buying.  If you can’t pronounce the ingredient, you probably don’t want to eat it.)

What about sleep?  Do you get at least 7 hours of sleep a night?  Do you meditate?  Do you read before bed? New science discoveries tells us not to use a light emitting device to read from before you go to sleep.  But reading a paper-paged book can help ease your mind.

Are you able to manage your stress level?  (If you do, please tell me how. )

Are you trying to be more organized?  More diligent about your financial situation?  Or do you want to stop a habit or addiction you have?  What is it that you want to do to make a better life for yourself?

We don’t need to make resolutions.  We don’t need to broadcast anything to the world.  We can make one better decision at a time, and that will be better than any resolution.   Each good decision we make brings us one step closer to the next better decision.  And once we start making better decisions every time, we truly become better people.  But if you mess up and make a bad decision, remember: don’t cry over spilled milk.  I love that old saying.  Don’t freak out and stress out  about it because there’s nothing you can do to change it.  Clean it up, and be more careful next time.  We all make mistakes, its part of being human.  But by making these better decisions, we’ll make less mistakes and we’ll be happier, healthier people all year, not just the first week of January.

Happy New Year!


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Christmas is Over

Christmas is finally over.

That sounds so terrible when I read it, but that’s how I’ve gotten to feel over the years.  Run, run, run. Try to buy presents for too many people, spend too much money; and what to get for Grandma who has everything?  And then wrap, pack, haul to the parties, unwrap, pack, haul back to my house. And then I have to put the things away, find homes for new items, and decide what to do with the ones they replaced.  Did I forget anyone?  And then the neighbor shows up with a gift.  Do I have time to grab something from the closet to re-gift?  What about a card?

Luke 2: In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

As Christmas becomes more and more commercialized, we are growing further and further away from the true meaning of Christmas.

What if we removed the gifts sector from Christmas?  Christmas would still happen, it would still be December 25.  The sun would rise with the absence of Santa Claus, and the sun would set, marking another day from the calendar.  But then I would miss it.  I love giving gifts to people I love, but I don’t like the frantic-ness of the holiday season.  Everything builds up for weeks and weeks, and then, its over.  Its over.  Some children receive so many gifts, they are so overwhelmed by all the stuff, and they can’t even play with it all.  I get overwhelmed trying to buy gifts for everyone, and it’s hard because I don’t even know what they all like, or what they already have.

I remember when I was a young girl, my mom read all the stories from the “Little House on the Prairie” series to my sister and me.  Their Christmas was very simple, with handmade gifts and a few pieces of candy.  The gifts they gave and received were very special and from the heart.  They were true gifts, of time and love, and they were appreciated by the receiver I think probably much more than the gifts we give now.

And what if we were able to hush all the running to parties and rehearsals and shopping and concerts.  The world has gotten so much bigger, yet so much smaller.  We have too much to do and not enough time to do it.  And once the children are grown, we have to plan around their schedules too, if we want them to come along.  And what if your family lives an airplane ride away?  There’s all that to contend with as well.  How does anyone pull off the perfect Christmas?

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

I don’t think we can.  I think the only way is to remember the reason for Christmas, remember that manger with the newborn baby.  Imagine the chaos of Mary and Joseph’s first Christmas.  I guess maybe ours isn’t so bad after all.  I hope you had a very Merry Christmas!


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Fear-Less

 

phone 408What is fear?

Fear is an emotion.  Why then, can fear control our lives?  If you really think about what you fear, can you feel it in the pit of your stomach?  Can you feel the adrenaline stab that takes your breath away?

The things we fear are mostly imaginary.  And I’m not just talking about having bad dreams.  The things we worry about are the things we fear.  What are you worried about right now?  What if I told you that none of those things will happen?  Would you still worry about them?

What if I told you that worrying about something can actually make it more likely to happen?  Do you believe me?  I read once that worrying is like praying for what you don’t want.  If our prayers are the feelings we have that we send to the Universe (God), then worrying is asking for those things to happen.

If you realized this was true, would you stop worrying and being fearful?  I know its hard to think that way when there seems to be bad things lurking around every corner.  And I have had my fair share of them, even a couple just in the last week.  But I have learned that if I offer up my thankfulness to my Abba (the Universe) and I pray for peacefulness, that my fear dissipates quickly and all that is left is a bit of anxiety that I can deal with on my own.  How can you be thankful when you are fearful?  You can’t.  But the great news is that God knows our hearts, and our worries, and He tells us not to worry about tomorrow, because each day has worries of its own.

Another thing we tend to worry about is what other people think of us.  Why do we do this?  We have this need for approval from others, and we had a need for approval from our parents, and our teachers, and on and on and on.  But who’s approval do you really need?  Just your own.  Once you cast away the fear of not fitting in, of people not liking you, of people being disappointed in you, then you’ll be free to live your true self’s life.  Your true self, or higher self, doesn’t care what you wear, so why did you spend a half hour picking out an outfit?  If you were running through the jungle with a tiger chasing you, do you think he would chastise you for wearing those shoes after Labor Day?  If your child was dying in the hospital, would it truly matter if your scarf doesn’t accessorize well with that belt? No, when it comes down to it, nothing material really matters that much.  Your true self also doesn’t care what you drive, where you live, or how big your bank account is.  Your true self wants peace.

I think this is why after a fire, or other disastrous event, people pull together and realize that things are replaceable, people are not.  Even those cherished mementos, the quilt great-grandma hand-stitched, and the photographs of your grandparents weddings, are still less important than people.  We spend a lot of money on trying to keep our things safe from harm, fire proof safes, fire suppression systems, burglar alarms, bigger and bigger houses and garages, and then we worry about those things too.  We worry about the buildings and we worry about what’s in them.  We worry about too many things that don’t really matter.  We are fearful of loss.  We are fearful of life.  We are fearful of decisions that we make and what the outcomes of those decisions might be.  We are fearful of consequences and our own failures.  We are fearful, sometimes, of ourselves.  And sometimes, we are fearful of crazy scenarios played out in our imaginations.

So if I stop worrying, and stop being fearful, I will stop inviting disaster and chaos into my life.  But how can I stop worrying?  How can I stop being fearful?  Think of something that worries you, that makes you feel fear.  What’s the worst thing about it?  What is your worst case scenario?  Imagine it happening.  Close your eyes, and feel the pain, feel everything.  There, now its done.  You’ve already experienced it, so there’s no need to worry about it anymore.  Now, look at that thing that hasn’t happened and be grateful.  Be grateful for what you have, instead of worrying about what you don’t have.  Your heart will be lighter, and your anxiety levels will plummet.  Be very aware of what your brain is thinking about, and if it starts the fear process, shut it down.  Offer thanks and gratitude and be fear-less.


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Disappointed by Disappointment

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I have a problem.  I’m ready to admit it and get it out of my life.  I worry too much about what other people think of me.

It’s really a fear of disappointing people, and this is the issue I’m working on getting out of my life.  When I was a child I was a disappointment to my dad; I was the firstborn and I was a girl and he wanted a boy.  This sounds quite trivial I know, but its something that I’ve been dealing with for quite some time.  I wasn’t what my dad wanted.  My mom was happy with me, my grandparents were all happy with me, so why does this one little thing matter?

I believe that each of us has trials in our lives, and problems that result from all kinds of weird things that happen to us, or untruths that we grow up believing.  But this belief isn’t true for me.  I’m happy that I was a girl.  I’m happy with me, I love me.  And I know that I was created this way, as a female, for a reason.  I believe that God makes each one of us exactly the way He wants us to be for His purpose.  

But I also believe that what we experience in our lives makes us stronger and makes us into who we are as adults.  I consider myself to be a very strong woman, both mentally and physically, and spiritually.  I also get very defensive when someone tries to tell me what to do.  I don’t work that way.  I have to decide to do something, no one can make me do it.  I may be a little stubborn.  (I get that from my dad and his family who were amazingly stubborn.)  But this can be a good thing too.

A good thing? Remember, everything we experience can be a positive thing as long as we believe it is.  My stubbornness manifests in me sticking to my guns, not giving up or giving in, and if I truly believe something in my heart, no one will change that.  It makes me a stronger person, someone not scared to say what I mean, and say what I think.  I can look back and see that me trying not to disappoint people was all in my head.  I can’t disappoint anyone but myself.  Anyone who feels disappointed in you is really just disappointed in the fact that they were wrong about you.  Their idea of what they wanted you to do and what you did, were not the same.  Its their belief system that was wrong, not yours.  You can only satisfy yourself and your own belief system.  The fact that my dad didn’t get what he wanted is not my problem. 

(You can’t always get what you want.  The Rolling Stones were right.) 

So if I can take my own advice and remember this, I will be a much less anxious person, and will have a load off my shoulders.  There’s no reason to worry about disappointing anyone except yourself.  On that  same note, you won’t disappoint God either, because He knows your heart and your desires better than you do, and He loves you no matter what. 

What issues are you dealing with that may be something in your own belief system?  Have you dealt with this in your life?  What did you do to get out of this mindset?


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Stuck!!

Samsung 064

This is my cat Dude. He’s really lazy, but he’s happy! 🙂

 

Some people get stuck.  We get stuck on the past and the problems and the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves.  If you get stuck, the first thing to do is to realize that you are stuck.  You stop growing when you’re stuck.  Being stuck feels like anxiety, sadness, that feeling of I don’t like this but I don’t know what to do about it. As soon as you feel this, acknowledge it.  Say to yourself, “Self, I’m stuck.  I don’t want to remain stuck.  I love you.  I completely love myself and I accept myself and all that goes with it. But I want to move forward, and I know that you know how to get us unstuck. Please proceed.”

(What? You don’t want to talk to yourself?  Its cool, I do it all the time!)

Sometimes we only talk to ourselves by the negative things in our heads, and that is something that’s very hard to control.  Instead, make time each day to tell yourself that you are good, you are love, and that its OK that you’ve made mistakes in your past. Its OK that you burnt your breakfast and had to throw it out.  Its OK that you broke the trim on the garage door because you got to close to it when you were backing out.  Its OK that you forgot the cans of cat food on the hall table and the dog chewed them to pieces, and its OK that you put the cereal in the fridge with the milk.  Too many times we beat ourselves up over silly things.  If you find yourself talking to yourself this way again, stop and imagine what you would say if your best friend told you her story about how she had done these things.  Would you berate her for this?  Would you tell him how stupid he was for something that insignificant?

Of course you wouldn’t. So why then do we tell ourselves these things?

Its very important to love yourself, forgive yourself and take care of yourself.

Its not being selfish. Trust me on this one.  I used to not take care of myself.  I have a family and I took care of them first, always.  But then somewhere down the line my body started to tell me that I couldn’t keep this up.  I needed to take the time to take care of me.  Its not something that will happen overnight, but with practice and time, you will learn what your body needs.

Mine needs healthy wholesome foods, no junk and no processed foods, I feel terrible when I eat that stuff!  I also need to visit my chiropractor on a regular basis.  If I don’t, I don’t feel as good as I know I do when I go.  I also need exercise, I feel better when I get up and move, and I need water, not so much coffee.  I also have recently found out that I really feel better when I go for a massage on a regular basis.  (Not a light back-rub, but a deep tissue massage from an actual massage therapist.)  My muscles get really tight, really fast, and if  skip a couple massages, I really feel it.  And tight muscles are much more prone to injury.

I also take the time to read, I love learning new things and this stimulates my mind.  I also have started taking the time to write.  It feels good to take the thoughts from my mind and translate them into something that others can read, and hopefully learn from as well.  I read some fiction once in awhile too, and that helps the imagination continue to function.  “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; and if you can dream it, you can become it.”  William Arthur Ward came up with this quote and its very true.  You are who you think you are, so make sure you think that you are an awesome person!

All in all, when I take the time to take care of myself, I don’t feel stuck.  I don’t feel lacking in anything.  Sometimes, we look at these things as nonessentials in our lives, because they do cost money and need to be budgeted for.  But if you look at the things you end up spending money on because you don’t take care of yourself, you will find that doing these things will actually save you money in the long run.  So you’ll feel better, look better, and you’ll have more money!! What could be better than that?

If something is important to you, you will find a way to do it.  And when you have a passion in your life, and things you believe in, it actually makes you a healthier person physically, mentally, and emotionally.  If someone sits around a lot, they tend to become depressed, thinking about everything that is wrong.  If instead you can focus on what’s right, you’ll feel a lot better.  Being stuck feels like the opposite of feeling better.  It feels worse.  It feels less than.  NO one wants to feel that way, and you shouldn’t have to.

What are things that make you feel better?  One study showed that people who volunteer their time to help others are happier than people who don’t. http://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/  And other studies at Harvard University show that being a happier person can help you live longer and healthier lives!   http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/magazine/happiness-stress-heart-disease/

What’s something you can do for yourself today that will help you become a better you, and a healthier you? I’d love to hear your ideas, or what you’ve done that has made you feel better in the past.


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Every Breath You Take

Are you a shallow breather?

Take a deep breath.  Did your chest rise?  Not sure? Put one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly.  Take a deep breath.  Which hand moved?  If it was the hand on your chest, you’re breathing in shallow breaths. Why does this matter?  There are numerous health risks involved here, like decreased mental focus, less refreshing sleep, and higher blood pressure.

Try taking a deep breath through your nose for five seconds and use the air to push your belly out instead. Hold this air for a second or two and then exhale through your mouth also counting to five.  Do this a few times.  Did you notice a difference?

When we breathe in these deep belly breaths, we get more oxygen into our system.  The transfer of oxygen actually takes place in the bottom of our lungs.  When we breathe belly breaths, we get more oxygen into our lungs and into our bodies, and this makes us feel less stressed out! (My chiropractor told me this, and she was right!)

Anytime we feel stressed out or anxious, we can use this simple technique to relax.  If you practice this often, it will become the way you naturally breathe, again, like you did when you were a baby, and you will feel refreshed when you get enough oxygen. And when you feel refreshed, you just flat out feel happier. Take the challenge to breathe these deep belly breaths at least two or three times a day and see if you notice the difference.