That seems to be the catch-all answer for anyone who’s having a hard day or going through a tough time in their lives.
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. It makes sense, you survive the trial and you’re a better person because of it. We all have trials in our lives that tax us, hurt us, and make us learn something, even if its painful. Sometimes we lose loved ones, and have to learn to live without them in our lives.
But what about situations that just wear you down? What about the problems that never get fixed and never go away? Do they make you stronger too? Or do they just keep beating you down? What about people who don’t even realize that they are sabotaging their dreams by the choices they make? Do they get stronger? Or do they just keep getting further and further in the hole? What about harmful addictions? They really can kill you, and its not making you stronger. What about your attitude toward life? Are you grateful? Or do you only see the bad things in life, never giving thanks for the good things?
I think the true answer here, is that you have to realize there is a problem and define it before you can do anything about it. You have to face the reality that something is happening over and over in your life, and the only way to make it stop is to acknowledge it. If you keep hiding from these problems, and pushing them away, they never get fixed. And if they never get fixed, they can’t make you stronger.
Instead of pushing away the things that bother you, go ahead and introduce them, feel them, hold them in your heart and ask yourself, “Why?”. Make yourself aware of the fact that this problem is in your life for a reason, perhaps to teach you something, perhaps from poor choices you have made in your life. Nonetheless, it is there, and you are the only one who can make it leave. It could be a bad habit, an addiction, or choosing friends and significant others poorly. It could be a dead-end job, or a career path you wish you wouldn’t have followed. It could be your health and diet, and having a body you don’t like. It could be school and family problems that you can’t see a way out of. There are so many things it could be, but if you don’t acknowledge it, and realize that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS, it won’t change. Nothing changes unless you want it to change.
NOTHING IN THIS LIFE CHANGES UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE IT!
You are the only one who can take the initiative to choose something else for your life. You are only in control of you, and no matter how much you want it, you can’t change other people. Believe me, its taken me awhile, but I’ve learned this. You are in charge of you, everyone else is not your business. Its great to be supportive to others, but you have to realize that you can’t change them or even make them see what they don’t want to see. They are the only ones who can change themselves, just as you can only change you. Sometimes its hard to watch someone you love continue to keep choosing the destructive path, the path that keeps them stuck. But all you can do is point it out, keep them in your prayers, and hope for the best.
How does one initiate change? You have to want it. You have to choose the other path. You have to say, “I’m going to change”, and then do it! Choose to be grateful. Choose to see the good things in life. Choose to see that you are a beautiful person. Ask for help for things you cannot do by yourself. Get counseling. Get help. Stop the reckless behavior. Stop putting yourself down. Stop wallowing in self pity. Love yourself. Love your life. And try your hardest to choose love in everything you do.
March 10, 2016 at 12:25 pm
I think people can recover from most experiences if they have enough support. I have recovered from drugs and alcohol, bulimia, OCD, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, clinical depression and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. But they have to have the ego strength and self-love (I mean those in a good way) to want to put the work in to recover. I know a lot of people who are trapped in addiction who have no desire to get better. Some of these people I love very much and it is so difficult to see them continuing on a destructive path. But as you say in your post we have to let go and allow them to follow their own path. Sometimes that means distancing ourselves slightly from them as the pain of watching them destroy themselves is too much.
March 10, 2016 at 12:40 pm
Thank you for your honest comment. I want to applaud you and how much you have overcome! You are amazing!
I have an alcoholic brother who is destroying his health and his life. He doesn’t seem to want to recover. I thought of him a lot when writing this.
March 10, 2016 at 5:35 pm
It boils down to our choices. You read my post today. I have chosen to overcome and to live my life looking at the glass half full. I really enjoyed your post. Thank you.
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March 11, 2016 at 2:21 am
Reblogged this on fire in your belly and commented:
Very wise words, and so very well put
March 12, 2016 at 6:58 am
Thank you very much!
March 12, 2016 at 3:43 pm
You’re very welcome. A very thought provoking piece of writing