Ramblings

Life, family, business


Leave a comment

Decisions, decisions

It seems like there is always someone who wants to tell you what to do.  Some people really think they know what’s best for you, regardless of what you think.  Some people even feel entitled to go around telling others what they should or shouldn’t do, and actually expect people to listen!

The really sad part of this is that sometimes we actually do let other people tell us what to do!  Why would we do that?  Why do we care what other people think of us enough to let them determine the course of our lives?

Sometimes, life gets hard. We need to make decisions, and that can be hard too. What if we do the wrong thing?  Pick the wrong job? Buy the wrong house? We stress over what to do, and sometimes, when we aren’t sure what we should do, we let others tell us what to do.

But I ask you this: what if you do the right things? Pick the right job? Buy the right house?

There are so many possibilities in life, and we need to be able to consciously choose our own paths in life.  Living the life someone else picks for you will never be fulfilling.  Each of us has to pick for ourselves.

If you really have a hard time making decisions, I find the best way to get started is to make a list of pros, the things that are positive about each choice, and a list of cons, the things that are negative about each choice. Once you have done this, read over what you wrote. Listen to your heart, listen to your gut, what is your body telling you? What is your heart telling you? Do any of these choices feel more “right” than the others?

And if you still really can’t decide on one that seems better, just pick one.  What’s the worst thing that could happen? You’ll learn something.  You’ll get life experience.  You’ll find out what you don’t like.  Then, pick something else.  Find a different job.  Sell that house and buy something different.  Very few choices in life are permanent, but some are, and you should really think about that tattoo before you get it!  Some choices we make may not fit us as we get older and more mature, and that’s okay.  That’s how life works.  We live, and we learn. We learn, and we make better choices the next time around if we are growing and learning from our mistakes.  And we all make mistakes.  Its part of being human, and its part of living.

Living your own life is the only way you will ever be happy, the only way you can grow. Every one of us needs to grow in order to feel alive.  Don’t stifle yourself by doing what someone else thinks you should do, make your own decisions, follow your heart. You can do this!


1 Comment

To the Arrogant

I want these words to convey my feelings,
My emotions.
I want these words to bring you the pleasure
Or the pain that they bring me.
I want these words to be the key
That lets you peak into my mind.
I want these words to energize you,
To wake you up,
Like the static shock from lightning,
Making the hair on the back of your neck
Stand up straight, along with your goosebumps.
I want you to hear the TRUTH,
To see the LOVE,
And understand the SACRIFICE.
But how can I do this
When you will not listen?
How can I make you hear?
How can I make you learn?
How can I make you see the world all around you?
Instead, you dwell inside your own mind,
Oblivious to the fact that it is a prison.
You live in your own world of make believe and lies,
Where you are the king, or the queen, and get to make the rules.
But in the real world,
You are fading from existence.
Your kind is dying out as the rest of the world awakens around you.
Your time is short,
Like an old relic,
A prehistoric dinosaur watching the meteor about to hit earth.
And you,

You are just enjoying the fireworks.

 

 

 

 


Leave a comment

Goals for 2017

What are goals?  What’s the difference between a goal and a resolution?

A goal is something you’re working toward, something you want.  But a resolution can be any kind of change you plan on implementing in your life.  I’m going to be honest here and tell you that I’m not very good at resolutions.  I did make one last year, and I think I did pretty well.  My resolution was to stop procrastinating my book work, and have it caught up all the time.  I slipped a bit at the end of the year, but for the most part, I feel I did well.  I have made it a habit to get it done, and that makes all the difference.  Changing your habits is how you change your life.

But this year, I felt I needed goals.  I want something to work towards, something to give me the motivation to work hard, to be all I can be.  I sat with my journal, and really couldn’t come up with much.  In fact, it made me more frustrated the longer I pondered.  Here’s what I ended up writing:

What are goals anyway?  Is it just a wishlist of things to get done? A master plan for life? What if I don’t know what my goals are yet? What if I enjoy living life by the seat of my pants?

I don’t know what this life will bring-what this year will bring. How do I set goals in a place with no certainty? How does one set goals in a game with no rules?

If my goals are simply the ways I hope to change myself for the better, then aren’t they actually aspirations?

Can I choose the goal of having such a great life that I don’t need any goals? Can I trust the God of the Universe enough to stay motivated without having any said goals other than to just be myself?

I think that’s my true goal, to just be myself.  No more worrying about the opinions of other people, because truly, they don’t matter.  No more worrying about if what I said was taken the wrong way, or not understood correctly.  No more worrying about hurting other people’s feelings, especially when they aren’t worried about hurting mine.  Perhaps worrying is the thing I need to get rid of.  All right, so I’ll be my true self, and stop worrying.  There.  Its set.  Happy 2017!


Leave a comment

Every Person Matters and Why Fear is Killing Us

I do believe that this is true, every single person matters, to someone.  Every person is a mother, father, son, daughter, niece, nephew, friend, or loved one.  Every one of us matters to someone.

I see the hatred and racism, I hear it talked about at my store, on the news, and all over Facebook.  People categorize and generalize, and group people into labels.  But each of those people matters.  Every one of us is a child of God, and a child of the Earth, and a child of two other people.  Every one of those lives has a purpose, has a reason.  Each one of those lives has been given a different set of talents, unique to that person, and they should have the opportunity to use them.

I know not all of us are the same religion, but that shouldn’t mean we can’t cooperate and learn together how to make this planet a better world for all of us.  We’re not all the same color, but that shouldn’t make any difference; the color of one’s skin doesn’t make them any better or any less of a person.  WE ALL MATTER!

But the power behind all of this nonsense, is FEAR.  When we fear other people because of their color or their religion, or even their sexual preference, we are the losing team.  God tells us to fear no man.  But we do, we fear all kinds of things, but mostly, we fear anything different than us.  We fear the differences in culture, in language, and in morals.  We fear that someone will try to make us change, and we fear change of any kind.

But the world is changing every minute, every second.  The world changes and we change too, even if we’re afraid.  I am not the person I was 40 years ago, 4 years ago, 4 days ago.  My experiences in life change me every day.  I learn new things everyday, and by learning those things, I am a different person, a wiser person.  I go out of my way to learn about people and their cultures.  I learn about them, their families, their hopes and dreams, and their own fears.

Education is the key to stop FEAR in its tracks.  The more you know about something, the harder it is for you fear it. I have friends and relatives who are gay, transgender, straight, black, brown, yellow, red, white, and even pink. I have friends and relatives who are Atheist,  Christian, Muslim, Pagan, and even a couple who are witches. I don’t fear my friends, I want them to be happy and have joy and fullness in their lives.  I want them to feel love and be loved, just as I want that for myself.  I want them to be accepted for who they are, without feeling any type of oppression or fear from others or for others.

I challenge everyone to learn about the people who scare you.  Before you stereotype a person into a label that you fear, try to meet them, befriend them.  “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”, as Jesus once said, because once you start praying for them, they are no longer enemies, perhaps only friends you haven’t met yet.  If we all work together, we can make this world, this country, this state, a better place; a place where all lives truly do matter.  A place where we build each other up, look out for each other, and try to help each other understand why there should be no fear here.  We are all brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and children.  We are all in this world together.  What a beautiful place it could be if we saw each person for who they truly are, if we could see their lives as valuable, just as we value our own.  Each of us has value, each of us has a unique soul, and each of us has a worth.  We just need to open our eyes and see that we are all the same, yet we are all different, and that is why each of us, each single life, matters.

 

 

 


Leave a comment

Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

 

 

 


1 Comment

It’s 90 degrees, on May 5th, in North Dakota.

This spring has been one of the weirdest weather years in my life. The winter was mild, it felt like spring in February and March, and then cooled down again. And here we are today, at 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

12795257_10208695979944951_6450639887248248609_n (High tunnel picture with side rolled up.)

I’m a gardening fanatic. I took the Master Gardener classes at NDSU awhile back, and I just love growing plants. I have a little greenhouse, a high tunnel, and a basement full of grow lights. (Don’t worry, there’s nothing illegal being grown here ever!)  I have over 70 houseplants that live inside all winter.  I have a banana tree on my dryer, and a cactus that touches the ceiling, both in my laundry room.  Am I the crazy plant lady?  Maybe. But its an inherited disease.  My mom’s banana tree lives in her dining room.

 


Leave a comment

Drug Testing for Welfare Benefits: Pros and Cons

I have seen a ton of posts on Facebook about testing all welfare recipients for drugs, and denying benefits to anyone who tests positive.  I totally agree with this, for people without children.  The problem is, the kids who have druggies for parents didn’t choose to live this way.  They didn’t make the choice to do drugs, their parents did. I think this should also apply to alcoholics raising children.  Its not fair to the kids.

But if people want to be able to deny benefits for people with children, we have to be ready to raise those children.  How many kids will you take in?

The need for people to take foster children is great.  I’ll be honest and tell you that I’ve thought about it, but I know how easily I get attached to beings, like dogs, cats, and children.  I wouldn’t be able to give them up, to go back to a drug infested home, especially if there was abuse involved.

I would be open to adoption, but the cost of adopting children is ridiculous.  What if we figured out a way to let families adopt children for a much lower cost?  The children who need homes could have them, and people could afford to adopt.  The children then grow up in a healthy environment, where they are loved, cared for, and go to school.

How can we fix this?  The children are not the ones at fault.  And the kids who grow up in those environments are some of the same kids who start doing drugs as teenagers.  If drug use is normal, then the kids who grow up with that are much more likely to end up with the same addiction.  When there is no hope for a future, the world is a very bleak place.

I would love to see a system where families could afford to adopt as many children as they want, as long as they can afford them and pass a credible background check.  Yes, we’ll need more social workers.  But the savings of welfare benefits  to those who don’t deserve them will probably more than pay for the cost.

I don’t have a problem with welfare though, its there for a reason.  They are honest hard working people who need a hand, and that’s okay.  But one requirement of welfare should be that people have jobs or are looking for a job.  If people can’t find a job, then maybe we can have jobs available, like cleaning the roadways of litter, cleaning up graffiti from public buildings, or any other job that we expect our public servants to do.  But they need to be hard jobs to encourage people to find jobs they like and enjoy doing.

I also believe that people in prison need to be put to work doing something.  If prison was a hard life, then maybe some of the people would stop re-offending. There are lazy people out there, people with the mentality that somehow, humanity owes them something.  But the truth is, no one owes you anything.  If you want it, you need to go out there and earn it!

We need people to be accountable for themselves.  Our society has created an entire class of people who don’t think they have to work for themselves.  Unless you are truly disabled, you need to work for yourself!  You need to earn your own money!  When we give people money for nothing, we are the enablers.  We are the ones who let them get by with not being accountable.  And if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of children?

This blog is my personal opinion, and I realize that many people will disagree with it.  And that’s okay.  But if you disagree, how do you think we can solve this problem?  Children don’t deserve to live a life of neglect and abuse.  I’m very open-minded and I would love to hear your differing opinion.