Ramblings

Life, family, business


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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger…or does it?

That seems to be the catch-all answer for anyone who’s having a hard day or going through a tough time in their lives.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  It makes sense, you survive the trial and you’re a better person because of it.  We all have trials in our lives that tax us, hurt us, and make us learn something, even if its painful.  Sometimes we lose loved ones, and have to learn to live without them in our lives.

But what about situations that just wear you down?  What about the problems that never get fixed and never go away?  Do they make you stronger too? Or do they just keep beating you down?  What about people who don’t even realize that they are sabotaging their dreams by the choices they make? Do they get stronger?  Or do they just keep getting further and further in the hole?  What about harmful addictions? They really can kill you, and its not making you stronger.  What about your attitude toward life?  Are you grateful? Or do you only see the bad things in life, never giving thanks for the good things?

I think the true answer here, is that you have to realize there is a problem and define it before you can do anything about it.  You have to face the reality that something is happening over and over in your life, and the only way to make it stop is to acknowledge it.  If you keep hiding from these problems, and pushing them away, they never get fixed.  And if they never get fixed, they can’t make you stronger.

Instead of pushing away the things that bother you, go ahead and introduce them, feel them, hold them in your heart and ask yourself, “Why?”.  Make yourself aware of the fact that this problem is in your life for a reason, perhaps to teach you something, perhaps from poor choices you have made in your life. Nonetheless, it is there, and you are the only one who can make it leave.  It could be a bad habit, an addiction, or choosing friends and significant others poorly.  It could be a dead-end job, or a career path you wish you wouldn’t have followed.  It could be your health and diet, and having a body you don’t like.  It could be school and family problems that you can’t see a way out of.  There are so many things it could be, but if you don’t acknowledge it, and realize that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS, it won’t change.  Nothing changes unless you want it to change.

NOTHING IN THIS LIFE CHANGES UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE IT!

You are the only one who can take the initiative to choose something else for your life.  You are only in control of you, and no matter how much you want it, you can’t change other people.  Believe me, its taken me awhile, but I’ve learned this.  You are in charge of you, everyone else is not your business.  Its great to be supportive to others, but you have to realize that you can’t change them or even make them see what they don’t want to see.  They are the only ones who can change themselves, just as you can only change you.  Sometimes its hard to watch someone you love continue to keep choosing the destructive path, the path that keeps them stuck.  But all you can do is point it out, keep them in your prayers, and hope for the best.

How does one initiate change?  You have to want it.  You have to choose the other path.  You have to say, “I’m going to change”, and then do it!  Choose to be grateful.  Choose to see the good things in life.  Choose to see that you are a beautiful person.  Ask for help for things you cannot do by yourself.  Get counseling. Get help.  Stop the reckless behavior.  Stop putting yourself down.  Stop wallowing in self pity.  Love yourself.  Love your life.  And try your hardest to choose love in everything you do.


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On Being Helpful…

As a small business owner, one of things I do to enhance myself, is read books others people have written about business and life.  I have learned some great things, and read some weird ideas.  But the thing that is prevalent in most successful businesses is one thing: treating your customers the way you like to be treated.

This practice is easy for me, I’m generally a people person, and I like it when people leave the store with a smile on their face, or at least their heart.  But its not only important in business, its important in all aspects of life.

When you treat people the way you want to be treated, you make yourself a more humble person.  You can’t treat people well if you think you’re better than everyone.  You can’t treat people well if you’re selfish and only think of yourself.

The Bible even tells us this: treat others the way you would like to be treated.

If I was hungry, I would like to be fed.

If I was naked, I would really like some clothes!

If I was thirsty, I would like a drink.

But honestly, when I’m sick, I want want to be by myself until I feel better.

(And I sure don’t plan on going to prison, but if I did, I’d really like a good lawyer.)

If there are ways that we can help others, I believe we should.

Sometimes, all it takes is an ear to listen, and a nonjudgmental ear at that.  I’ve learned in life that people like to tell you their problems, but most of them don’t want your opinion.  So if they don’t ask, try not to give it out.  Even though you may have a really great solution to the problem, ask if they want advice, but don’t try to give freely what is not asked for.

I don’t want to imply that I’m the answer genius here, God knows I have problems of my own.  But if I can help one person, my day is not wasted.  It can be a very simple thing too, like someone needs a phone number, or help with their smart phone, or to look up something on the internet and they don’t have a computer, or they are short a quarter for their purchase and I have one in the “kitty”.  Little things can really make someone’s day better and brighter.  What are ways you’ve helped someone in a small way and it made you feel good inside?  I’d love to hear about them in the comment section.