Life, family, business

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Every Single Person Matters and Why Fear is Killing Us

I do believe that this is true, every single person matters, to someone.  Every person is a mother, father, son, daughter, niece, nephew, friend, or loved one.  Every one of us matters to someone.

I see the hatred and racism, I hear it talked about at my store, on the news, and all over Facebook.  People categorize and generalize, and group people into labels.  But each of those people matters.  Every one of us is a child of God, and a child of the Earth, and a child of two other people.  Every one of those lives has a purpose, has a reason.  Each one of those lives has been given a different set of talents, unique to that person, and they should have the opportunity to use them.

I know not all of us are the same religion, but that shouldn’t mean we can’t cooperate and learn together how to make this planet a better world for all of us.  We’re not all the same color, but that shouldn’t make any difference; the color of one’s skin doesn’t make them any better or any less of a person.  WE ALL MATTER!

But the power behind all of this nonsense, is FEAR.  When we fear other people because of their color or their religion, or even their sexual preference, we are the losing team.  God tells us to fear no man.  But we do, we fear all kinds of things, but mostly, we fear anything different than us.  We fear the differences in culture, in language, and in morals.  We fear that someone will try to make us change, and we fear change of any kind.

But the world is changing every minute, every second.  The world changes and we change too, even if we’re afraid.  I am not the person I was 40 years ago, 4 years ago, 4 days ago.  My experiences in life change me every day.  I learn new things everyday, and by learning those things, I am a different person, a wiser person.  I go out of my way to learn about people and their cultures.  I learn about them, their families, their hopes and dreams, and their own fears.

Education is the key to stop FEAR in its tracks.  The more you know about something, the harder it is for you fear it. I have friends and relatives who are gay, transgender, straight, black, brown, yellow, red, white, and even pink. I have friends and relatives who are Atheist,  Christian, Muslim, Pagan, and even a couple who are witches. I don’t fear my friends, I want them to be happy and have joy and fullness in their lives.  I want them to feel love and be loved, just as I want that for myself.  I want them to be accepted for who they are, without feeling any type of oppression or fear from others or for others.

I challenge everyone to learn about the people who scare you.  Before you stereotype a person into a label that you fear, try to meet them, befriend them.  “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”, as Jesus once said, because once you start praying for them, they are no longer enemies, perhaps only friends you haven’t met yet.  If we all work together, we can make this world, this country, this state, a better place; a place where all lives truly do matter.  A place where we build each other up, look out for each other, and try to help each other understand why there should be no fear here.  We are all brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and children.  We are all in this world together.  What a beautiful place it could be if we saw each person for who they truly are, if we could see their lives as valuable, just as we value our own.  Each of us has value, each of us has a unique soul, and each of us has a worth.  We just need to open our eyes and see that we are all the same, yet we are all different, and that is why each of us, each single life, matters.




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Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.





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What’s Your Opinion?

I can be a very opinionated person.  I have a very strong belief system and I defend my beliefs.   An opinion is simply a belief or view or judgment formed about something.  We all have them.  Some have more than others.

Every person is entitled to their own opinion about anything.  Here in the United States we have the freedom of speech, and we have the right to voice our opinions.  However, its important to remember that not everyone has the same opinion, and even though you can voice your opinion, I don’t have to listen.

What makes some people feel the need to express their opinion to people they barely know, with no invitation?  What makes these people think that their opinion means anything to people they don’t know?

This is one of the things I’ve been pondering over this Christmas holiday.  It seems like I meet one of these people every year or two.  But what makes a person act like this? I’m not talking about your outspoken friend talking to you, I’m talking about that person who has just met you, or is in your line at the store, or the person behind you in line at the buffet who makes unkind or rude comments about your choice of food.

The one theme I see in people like this is ignorance.  People who don’t take the time to learn about a situation and just try to judge others are very ignorant.  People who try to tell you what they think or believe without being invited into the conversation are rude, discourteous, and lacking manners.

I know I have acted this way as well, especially when I was younger.  Its something I try very hard not to do.  These rules are obviously not for close friends, they are my rules for meeting new people and talking to people you don’t know well:

NEVER insert your opinion where its not wanted. How do you know if it’s wanted?  The person will ask you for it if they want it. If they don’t ask, keep your yap shut.

NEVER criticize other adults for their choices.  Its not your life, you don’t get to choose for anyone except yourself.  If you don’t like the way someone else did it, then don’t do it that way yourself, and keep your yap shut.

And lastly, you can judge people all you want in your head, but keep your yap shut.  Karma is a bitch. You reap what you sow.  Once you start judging others out loud, you will become the target of those who will judge you as harshly as you judge others.

I can tell you from experience that when you try to insert your opinion into someone else’s life, they generally aren’t going to like it, especially if it doesn’t agree with theirs.  When people do any of these things to me, or breaks my rules, it creates an instant dislike of that person.  Is this me judging?  Yes, it is.  As an adult, I get to decide who my friends are, and who I talk to.  There are so many negative people in this world, I try my hardest to make sure I don’t add any of them into my  circle of friends, or even my list of acquaintances.

Since I have started choosing the people I allow into my life more carefully, I have become a much happier person.  I surround myself with people who are also tolerant, loving, and peaceful.  I reject those who are abrasive, self-serving, or disrespectful of my life’s beliefs.  Every one of us gets to choose who we let in; respect yourself and make purposeful choices.

The “Big Dog” in Every One

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This is my Great Dane, Jack. Jack doesn’t realize how big he is. Some days he will try to sit on my lap in this chair, once we both fell backwards and that’s when I pushed the chair back so it can’t happen again. He’s heavy; weighing in at over 200 pounds. People are generally fearful of him for his size, and he really could hurt someone if he chose to; he stepped on my foot a few days ago and I still have a bruise.

However, Jack is not a mean dog, I do believe he thinks he’s a person. He can eat off the table or the counter without stretching. He’s like a small child, mentally, and he looks for cues from us as to how to act and behave around others.

I think sometimes people are like this as well. We don’t realize what we truly are, and who we could potentially be. We don’t realize how big we are, how important we are, and how much we could do in the world. Too many times we underestimate ourselves and our abilities. Each of us has certain talents and abilities that others do not have. But by all of us working together as a collective team, we can do so much more than we can on our own.

Each of us is a “Big Dog” in our own sense. Each of us has the ability to do good, and do it well, and help others. Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

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Be True to Yourself

I was at a workshop for which I had volunteered. I was there to help things go smoothly and to help with introducing speakers and cleaning up after it was finished. Near the kitchen door there were two garbage cans; one was for garbage, and one boasted a sign that it was intended for recycling. As I was waiting in line to discard my things into the trash, the man in front of me dumped his items into the correct cans, and then he reached into the garbage can, pulled out a plastic bottle, and put it into the recycling can. He didn’t pause, he didn’t debate, he didn’t make a snide comment about how ignorant some people are, he just reached in and grabbed it.

Now this may not sound very exciting, but the truth of the matter is; I noticed his act of environmentalism and I mentally applauded him for this. I could tell something about this man just from his actions. He is concerned about our planet, about our world, and he is smart enough to realize that our actions make a big difference to our surroundings.

Actions speak louder than words. We can all get on our soapboxes and say anything we want, but what do people see when they see us? What do our actions tell others about what’s important in our lives? If I say one thing and do another, do as I say not as I do, what does that really tell others about me?

Most people would call that a hypocrite.  A hypocrite is basically a liar; a liar who claims they are something they are not.  Now, don’t get me wrong, every one of us has been guilty of this in our lives.  No human is perfect.  But for most of us, its a rare occurrence.  But if its not a rare occurrence in your life, perhaps you need to sit down and decide what it really is that you are.  Who are you truly?

Sometimes we are placed into certain mindsets by other people; our parents, teachers, friends, peers, and even the media.  There are so many people trying to live up to stuff that they don’t even care about! But they have been told that its important, and they believe it.  We are told that if we aren’t successful, we are losers.  But what is success?  What does success look like in your mind?  That’s what’s important.  Perhaps you aren’t wealthy, but if you only see successfulness as wealth, you will have a low self-worth until you have made a lot of money.  If you see successfulness as having a spouse and children, and you’re still single, then you’re also not going to be happy until you have that in your life.

But what if we saw successfulness as just being our true selves?  What if we acknowledged that successfulness is different for each person?

Each of us is born with talents and abilities that are unique to ourselves. I like to call that our spiritual nature.   We are all very different in that nature, but yet very similar in our human nature.  We all have similar human needs; air, food, and water.  But we all have different spiritual needs.  We all have a purpose in life, a higher calling, an internal power that needs to be fed and nurtured.

Think back to when you were a small child.  What did you want to be when you grew up?  My mom kept this journal for each of her kids where she recorded different events in our lives; our first words, when we got our first tooth, and what we wanted to be when we grew up, among many other things.  I wanted to be a farmer.  My dad was a farmer, and so were both my grandfathers, and all my uncles.  So what made a little girl want to be a farmer?  I loved animals, and I loved being outdoors.  I had my own row in the garden where I planted lots of seeds of different varieties and grew all sorts of things.  I can remember beans, and zinnias, and melons, all growing in the same row in “my garden”.  My parents always had a garden, and even though I hated weeding with a passion, I loved eating fresh produce right from the plant.

As I got older my preferred occupation changed many times.  I held many different jobs, learned a lot about many different professions, and met hundreds of people.  But do you know what I want to be when I grow up?  A farmer.  Isn’t that ridiculous?  My children were both in their teens when I realized that I want to be a farmer.  Not just live on a farm,  I want to be an organic vegetable farmer.

I have a large garden, and that is my “farm”.  I love to talk with people about health and food, and the importance of nutrition.  How would I look if I talked like this but ate a bunch of junk food?  I have a small convenience store, and its filled with processed food of every kind.  But I have been putting what I eat on those shelves as well.  I’ve been adding the organic foods, and the healthy snacks and treats.  It will never be the organic grocery store, but its an improvement over what it was.

Once you figure out who you are in your heart, then you can start making the changes necessary to be true to yourself.  As long as you know in your heart that you are true to yourself, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you!  That is a great feeling!!  And once you no longer are worried about what other people think of you, you can start being yourself and stop trying to live up to the expectations of others.

Being yourself is the most successful person you can be.  Who are you?  Who are you really?

  I would love to hear from others who are learning about themselves, please leave me a comment!


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Energize Yourself!

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It amazes me every time:  I can be tired, beat, ready for a nap,  and just talking to someone with a passion similar to mine can wake up my senses and energize me completely!  Its great to find like-minded people, there’s something so ENERGIZING about a shared passion, but only when its a positive passion, does it seem to feel that way.

Negativity breeds anger, hate, destruction.

Positivity breeds happiness, love, and community.

Energy is an amazing thing.  We each have an energy in us, a frequency that vibrates within us.  Some people call it a vibe, some an aura, and some, the Holy Spirit, but regardless of what you call it, its there.

Sometimes, I can hear it. It tells me through my gut instincts that something is good, or bad, or wrong.  My dogs can really feel a person’s energy, or maybe see it, and if they don’t trust someone, I tend to be leery of them, and vice versa. I have learned in life to trust my gut, to listen to the still small voice inside me that tells me things.  Sometimes it tells me about people, sometimes about situations, but I know if I ignore it, I may regret it.

Sometimes there’s a voice that tells me to be afraid of all kinds of things, and this is a different voice, the voice of oppression and pain, and low self-worth.  I have learned to ignore this voice, since its not an inspiring voice, its a destruction voice.  We all have this in ourselves.  I liken it to the angel and the devil on opposite shoulders trying to tell you what to do, like in the old cartoons.  The devil on my shoulder is always selfish, mean, and full of anger and hurt.  The angel is always trying to help others, to be self-less and others-more, trying to spread kindness and cooperation.

Each of us has to decide which of these little cartoon characters to listen to, and to trust.  Our life experiences play a big part in which we succumb to, but I hope that each of us takes the extra second to listen to those opposing views and pick the one that sounds the most like LOVE.

When we pick the love, the hope, the good things, the wonderful; we pick ourselves.  We pick to trust ourselves.  We choose to rise above. And by choosing to be self-less, we choose the higher road; the road less traveled, the road less polluted by the world.  The road we choose means a lot to those around us.

I remember hearing once that even though we can’t change the world we can change the world for one person.   That’s not hard actually.  But what if each of us truly did this.  What if each of us picked one person and worked to make their world a better world, their life a better life.  How many of us are there?  How many of us want to make the world a better place?  How many people would be changed?

I believe we would all be changed by this project. We would all be ENERGIZED.  We would all share this PASSION to help others, and we could work together, and we really could change the world.

Think about the last time you helped someone.  How did it make you feel?  If you had a chance every day to feel that way, would you do it?


Finding My Purpose in Life

How many times have you wondered about your life’s purpose?  Have you figured it out yet?

It amazes me that we expect every 18 year old to know what it is that they want to do for the rest of their lives. How often does a college student change their major, or question their choice, or quit.  One of my friends has always known she was destined to be a doctor, and she’s a great doctor.  Another friend told me she’s always wanted to be a mother, and she’s a great mother.  Yet others, like me, work a bunch of different jobs, always trying to figure out what we were meant to do, what we were meant to be.  I love being a mother, and I love my kids more than I ever thought possible.  But I still have that nagging thought:  If I ever figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I have thought that thought so many times over my life.  (I did figure out what I want to do, just not how to do it.)

When you see your life’s purpose, do see goals?  Or do you see purpose?  Do you see a mountain of stuff you’re going to buy with your piles of money, or do you see how you’ll feel, and who you’ve become?  Do you see how many people you have helped?

Everyone wants money, it makes life easier when there’s enough to pay all the bills and still have some left over. But money is a material thing that buys material things.  Once you’ve traded it for something, its no longer money, its stuff.  And I know you’ve heard the phrase, “You can’t take it with you.”  Its true, you can’t.  But what then, can you take with you?  Is there anything you can take with you?

I know the older I get , the wiser I get.  I realize that there’s so much more to life than just things.  I could have a millions dollars worth of things, and it might make me feel happy for a short time, but no things can actually keep you happy.  I believe that in order for us to be happy, we need a heart full of love.  And that’s something you can’t buy.  There’s no drug you can take that will fill your heart with love and keep it full.  And surprisingly, there is no person that can make you feel this way except yourself.  If you are miserable and depressed, knowing the people around you love you doesn’t fill your own heart with love.  You can have the best family, and the best spouse, and the best kids, but they can’t fill your heart with love.  You have to be willing to open your heart to love in order to make that happen.

And once you have done that, your heart will slowly fill.  It doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t make you feel like a different person right away.  But it does happen, and eventually one day, you’ll realize that instead of being miserable, you’re full of love!  You’re happy!  You’re glad!  You have a smile on your face that no one can take away.  It’s a love and joy that permeates your soul.

And that is something you’ll be able to take with you; your soul.  In fact, that’s who you are.

Once you are happy in your soul, perhaps you will see that your purpose in life isn’t necessarily a job, or a career path.  Perhaps, your purpose is to use your talent, your gifts,to give what you have to others.  Perhaps all of our life’s purposes are to give ourselves away to those around us.  My doctor friend uses her talent to bring healing to others.  Mothers use their talents to lovingly raise children into responsible adults.  So many of us have talents that we use everyday to help others, and we may not even realize it.  Maybe its not a paying position, but its a very important job.  Maybe it is a paying position, and we are able to make a living using our talents to help others.  I feel that as long as we are using our God-given talents to help others, and we use those talents in love, we truly are fulfilling our life’s purpose.

What talents do you have?  How do they play into your life’s purpose?

If you haven’t figured out your purpose yet, what things are you good at?  What things do you enjoy doing?