Life, family, business

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Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.





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Drug Testing for Welfare Benefits: Pros and Cons

I have seen a ton of posts on Facebook about testing all welfare recipients for drugs, and denying benefits to anyone who tests positive.  I totally agree with this, for people without children.  The problem is, the kids who have druggies for parents didn’t choose to live this way.  They didn’t make the choice to do drugs, their parents did. I think this should also apply to alcoholics raising children.  Its not fair to the kids.

But if people want to be able to deny benefits for people with children, we have to be ready to raise those children.  How many kids will you take in?

The need for people to take foster children is great.  I’ll be honest and tell you that I’ve thought about it, but I know how easily I get attached to beings, like dogs, cats, and children.  I wouldn’t be able to give them up, to go back to a drug infested home, especially if there was abuse involved.

I would be open to adoption, but the cost of adopting children is ridiculous.  What if we figured out a way to let families adopt children for a much lower cost?  The children who need homes could have them, and people could afford to adopt.  The children then grow up in a healthy environment, where they are loved, cared for, and go to school.

How can we fix this?  The children are not the ones at fault.  And the kids who grow up in those environments are some of the same kids who start doing drugs as teenagers.  If drug use is normal, then the kids who grow up with that are much more likely to end up with the same addiction.  When there is no hope for a future, the world is a very bleak place.

I would love to see a system where families could afford to adopt as many children as they want, as long as they can afford them and pass a credible background check.  Yes, we’ll need more social workers.  But the savings of welfare benefits  to those who don’t deserve them will probably more than pay for the cost.

I don’t have a problem with welfare though, its there for a reason.  They are honest hard working people who need a hand, and that’s okay.  But one requirement of welfare should be that people have jobs or are looking for a job.  If people can’t find a job, then maybe we can have jobs available, like cleaning the roadways of litter, cleaning up graffiti from public buildings, or any other job that we expect our public servants to do.  But they need to be hard jobs to encourage people to find jobs they like and enjoy doing.

I also believe that people in prison need to be put to work doing something.  If prison was a hard life, then maybe some of the people would stop re-offending. There are lazy people out there, people with the mentality that somehow, humanity owes them something.  But the truth is, no one owes you anything.  If you want it, you need to go out there and earn it!

We need people to be accountable for themselves.  Our society has created an entire class of people who don’t think they have to work for themselves.  Unless you are truly disabled, you need to work for yourself!  You need to earn your own money!  When we give people money for nothing, we are the enablers.  We are the ones who let them get by with not being accountable.  And if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of children?

This blog is my personal opinion, and I realize that many people will disagree with it.  And that’s okay.  But if you disagree, how do you think we can solve this problem?  Children don’t deserve to live a life of neglect and abuse.  I’m very open-minded and I would love to hear your differing opinion.



How to be Happy: Dis-Courage-ment or En-Courage-ment?

Have you ever felt discouraged?  Have you ever felt encouraged? Did either make you feel happy?

What does that even mean?

Discouragement, as defined by Google, is the loss of confidence or enthusiasm. Or hope.

Encouragement, defined by Merriam-Webster, is the act of making something more appealing or more likely to happen.

That makes me ask: what is courage?  Courage is the root of the words discourage and encourage.  Courage is the ability to do something that frightens you.

So now I ask, what frightens you?  What frightens you so much that you would be too scared to do it?  That’s dis-courage.

What is frightening to you that you have done anyway?  That’s en-courage.

I think sometimes we use the word “discourage” to mean sad.  I felt discouraged when the rain came.  I felt discouraged when I didn’t win the contest. We have lost our hope, our enthusiasm, and we feel sad about it.

How can we be happy?

There’s so many discouraging things going on in our world, and it seems like it just gets worse.  How can we have hope?  How can we get our enthusiasm back, or maybe even just a little to start with?  Some people always see the worst in everyone and everything.  They have discouraged themselves, and that makes them spread discouragement everywhere they go.  Why keep trying if its never going to get any better? If you let this continue, it can turn into depression.

Others see the best in everything, the eternal optimist, and they spread that joy and hope to others around them.  They may fall and they may lose, but they get right back in there with a smile on their face, ready for the next challenge.  They never seem depressed, even when they have every right to be.

Which of those people would you like to be?  I consider myself to be a realistic optimist.  I know there are bad things going on in the world that I myself am not able to change.  But I know there is a lot of good going on in the world too.  And maybe I can’t change the world for everyone, but I can change the world for myself.  I can be the encourager.   I can be the one to help change myself and my mindset so that I can see the good in people, and see the opportunities all around me.  And then, once I have changed myself, I can start changing the world for others.  I can be a better mother, I can be a better wife.  I can sponsor a child from a third world country, or I can spend time with the kids in my neighborhood and give them some attention that maybe their parents don’t have time or energy to give.  I can spend time with my elderly neighbors who maybe don’t get out much, or don’t have much company.

I can also spend my time learning new things or discovering new places.  Sometimes it takes a little courage to get out of our recliner and take a hike up that new trail, or take the different route, or the road less traveled.  Its takes courage to get out of our comfort zone and try something new.  Fear, dis-courage, can keep you from trying new things or going to new places.  Don’t be afraid.  Have courage!!

There are so many opportunities to help others, to encourage them to be happier people.  But you have to fill your heart with happiness in order to spread that happiness around.  I believe that God fills me with hope and love and peace, and that is my happiness.  Not everyone believes in God, and that’s up to each person to decide.  But either way, when you stop focusing so much on yourself, you are able to focus on others.  And by helping others, each of us can be an encourager.  Each of us can give help and hope to others, and that is infectious.

Helping others is a sure way to feel happy.  You don’t have to spend any money, but it will cost you some time.  But time spent helping is much better spent than time spent wallowing in our sorrow and unhappiness.  Again I tell you, don’t be afraid; have courage!!

Can you tell me about a time when you did something that really made you happy?  Or a time when you were encouraged, or discouraged?