Ramblings

Life, family, business


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Everything You Tell Yourself is TRUE!

Everything you tell yourself is true.

You are what you say and think you are.

~be careful little mouth what you say~

You have to believe in yourself.  If you’ve ever been in sports, your coach probably said those words, or told you that you have to believe it to achieve it, or something similar. Many times in life when we face obstacles, we talk ourselves through it, we help ourselves do something by believing we can!  But if the talk in our minds is negative, its not going to help us at all.  Its going to pull us down, because if you believe you are worthless, you’ll become worthless.  If you believe you are overcoming, then you are an over-comer.  As children, we are told many things, some good, some bad.  Stop believing the bad things.  Stop believing the cruel words of others.  Only believe the good, and work toward being better. Try hard to be a better person today, than you were yesterday.  Change only happens when you change what you are saying to yourself!

~be careful little ears what you hear~

But think about this, what if every song lyric you sang or listened to automatically transferred into your life as a true fact.  Would you keep listening to the same music?  The songs you sing in your head; are they going to lift you up? Or bring you down?  Do you listen to sad songs? Or songs about violence and rage?  Those words are who you become.  Do the lyrics of your favorite song talk about how pathetic you are?  How screwed up you are?  Its only going to reinforce these thoughts and keep you stuck in the downward spiral.

It kills me when people who suffer from depression listen to death metal.  Don’t you want to feel better? Listen to happy music, children’s songs, church hymns, anything that’s upbeat.  Don’t reinforce your depression by listening to someone drone on about how miserable they are, or how terrible their life is.  Every genre has this music; Country, Rap, Metal, and Rock.  There are even Classical pieces that resonate doom and despair-don’t listen to them! Pick something that makes you feel good inside.  Find some music that makes you feel happy.  And no, don’t try to tell me you only feel happy when you listen to depressing or angry music, I don’t buy it, please don’t insult my intelligence.  Find some relaxing music; Native American flutes, Buddhist singing bowls, or ocean waves, or something from nature; anything that clears your mind and helps you think in a positive manner.

~be careful little eyes what you see~

Did you know that when you watch a movie, your subconscious brain believes its really happening to you?  There are people who have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after watching violence happenings on television.  Some people are more sensitive than others and watching horror movies, or violence, can cause serious repercussions, especially in children. So think about how much stress you are inflicting on your subconscious just by what you watch on the screen! (I’m going to start watching exercise videos!)

~be careful little hands what you do~

Having nothing to do is an invitation to boredom, and that can cause you to feel worthless.  Find a hobby.  Find something for you to do in your spare time.  You’d be better off finding a part time job to make a few extra bucks than just sitting around moping.  It good to have things to do, find some!

Finding peace is possible, if you want to find it.  You have to believe you can, and you need to feel that you are worthy.  Only you can make your life better, and the best way to start is by realizing that everything you tell yourself is true.  The words you say, the music you listen to, the things you give your attention to, are the things that make up your life.  If you want your life to change, you have to change it!  You have to pick a different choice than you have in the past.

“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.”

“There is no man living who isn’t capable of doing more than he thinks he can do.”

Henry Ford is credited for the quotes above, and he’s right.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

 

 

 


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It’s 90 degrees, on May 5th, in North Dakota.

This spring has been one of the weirdest weather years in my life. The winter was mild, it felt like spring in February and March, and then cooled down again. And here we are today, at 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

12795257_10208695979944951_6450639887248248609_n (High tunnel picture with side rolled up.)

I’m a gardening fanatic. I took the Master Gardener classes at NDSU awhile back, and I just love growing plants. I have a little greenhouse, a high tunnel, and a basement full of grow lights. (Don’t worry, there’s nothing illegal being grown here ever!)  I have over 70 houseplants that live inside all winter.  I have a banana tree on my dryer, and a cactus that touches the ceiling, both in my laundry room.  Am I the crazy plant lady?  Maybe. But its an inherited disease.  My mom’s banana tree lives in her dining room.

 


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Drug Testing for Welfare Benefits: Pros and Cons

I have seen a ton of posts on Facebook about testing all welfare recipients for drugs, and denying benefits to anyone who tests positive.  I totally agree with this, for people without children.  The problem is, the kids who have druggies for parents didn’t choose to live this way.  They didn’t make the choice to do drugs, their parents did. I think this should also apply to alcoholics raising children.  Its not fair to the kids.

But if people want to be able to deny benefits for people with children, we have to be ready to raise those children.  How many kids will you take in?

The need for people to take foster children is great.  I’ll be honest and tell you that I’ve thought about it, but I know how easily I get attached to beings, like dogs, cats, and children.  I wouldn’t be able to give them up, to go back to a drug infested home, especially if there was abuse involved.

I would be open to adoption, but the cost of adopting children is ridiculous.  What if we figured out a way to let families adopt children for a much lower cost?  The children who need homes could have them, and people could afford to adopt.  The children then grow up in a healthy environment, where they are loved, cared for, and go to school.

How can we fix this?  The children are not the ones at fault.  And the kids who grow up in those environments are some of the same kids who start doing drugs as teenagers.  If drug use is normal, then the kids who grow up with that are much more likely to end up with the same addiction.  When there is no hope for a future, the world is a very bleak place.

I would love to see a system where families could afford to adopt as many children as they want, as long as they can afford them and pass a credible background check.  Yes, we’ll need more social workers.  But the savings of welfare benefits  to those who don’t deserve them will probably more than pay for the cost.

I don’t have a problem with welfare though, its there for a reason.  They are honest hard working people who need a hand, and that’s okay.  But one requirement of welfare should be that people have jobs or are looking for a job.  If people can’t find a job, then maybe we can have jobs available, like cleaning the roadways of litter, cleaning up graffiti from public buildings, or any other job that we expect our public servants to do.  But they need to be hard jobs to encourage people to find jobs they like and enjoy doing.

I also believe that people in prison need to be put to work doing something.  If prison was a hard life, then maybe some of the people would stop re-offending. There are lazy people out there, people with the mentality that somehow, humanity owes them something.  But the truth is, no one owes you anything.  If you want it, you need to go out there and earn it!

We need people to be accountable for themselves.  Our society has created an entire class of people who don’t think they have to work for themselves.  Unless you are truly disabled, you need to work for yourself!  You need to earn your own money!  When we give people money for nothing, we are the enablers.  We are the ones who let them get by with not being accountable.  And if you can’t even take care of yourself, how can you take care of children?

This blog is my personal opinion, and I realize that many people will disagree with it.  And that’s okay.  But if you disagree, how do you think we can solve this problem?  Children don’t deserve to live a life of neglect and abuse.  I’m very open-minded and I would love to hear your differing opinion.

 


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Are You Good Enough?

 

The world is a terrible place, full of lies and deceit.  As a young teenager, I remember looking in the mirror and being OK with who I was.  I needed braces, but other than that, I thought, I was OK.  But then the world chimed in and told me that I wasn’t OK at all.

The world is so miserable, it just can’t stand to see anyone happy.  It wants you to be just as miserable.  It conspires against you, telling you that YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  It wants you to believe that you are not as good as the others.

You are not pretty enough,

Skinny enough,

Smart enough,

Strong enough.

You don’t have the right hair, the right clothes, or the right body.

The world is a bully.  It’s the worst bully of all.  It says bad things to us about ourselves, and SOMETIMES, WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEM!!

That’s the worst part of this.  We actually believe the lies the world tells us.  Why?  Why would we put ourselves through this misery?

The TRUTH says that we are exactly the way we were meant to be.  Generations upon generations have blended together to make you exactly who you are today.  Even one variable in those ancestors would have made a completely different person!

You are good enough!!  You are pretty, smart, and strong!  Your physical features have nothing to do with who you are inside.  Your body is just that, its a body.  Its a vessel that we are given to move our brains around in.  You need to take care of this body!  Its the only one you get.  Maybe you’re not happy with it, but don’t envy the one someone else has because you think its better.  For the most part, you can shape yours too, like a potter shapes the clay.  It takes work, but the results can be fabulous if you stick with it!  Maybe you aren’t happy with some aspect of it, perhaps its not the one you would have chosen had you been able to try them on and pick.  But the one you got is the one that was picked for you.  Learn to like it, that one thing will make your life a much happier place!  Feed it well, with nutritious foods.  Nurture it, exercise it.  Perhaps yours is a malfunctioning body, or one who has taken much abuse and now has a few dents and dings in it.  It may be hard to understand why yours isn’t in good working order, but none of us knows why these things happen.  None of us knows what things we will learn in life because of that thing that makes us unique.

Once you have made peace with your body, its time to look into your heart and see who you are.  Who are you?  Not your name, or your title, but who you are on the inside.  Its hard to find, because we’ve accepted so many labels from so many people over the years.  But take away all the things that others have named you, and what do you have left?  Take away the lies you have believed in the past, wipe the slate clean. Who is living in your body?  Who is this person called “I”?  Think about it. Dwell on it.  See if you can find “I”, meet them, ask them questions.  Ask them who they truly are.

I am compassionate, loving, caring, strong, and determined.  I am introverted, intelligent, creative, and empathetic. I am a daughter of God. I am a mother, wife, daughter, friend. I am patient, I am impatient.  I am so many things.  I am also not many of the things the world has labeled me as.  I get to choose who I am. I don’t have to accept any label I don’t want.  If another person chooses to label me, I am not that label. I am not what others think. What the world thinks is not my concern, my concern is what I think.  What I think I am, is who I am.

I’d love to hear about who your “I” is.  What labels have you chosen?

 

 

 

 

 


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What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger…or does it?

That seems to be the catch-all answer for anyone who’s having a hard day or going through a tough time in their lives.

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.  It makes sense, you survive the trial and you’re a better person because of it.  We all have trials in our lives that tax us, hurt us, and make us learn something, even if its painful.  Sometimes we lose loved ones, and have to learn to live without them in our lives.

But what about situations that just wear you down?  What about the problems that never get fixed and never go away?  Do they make you stronger too? Or do they just keep beating you down?  What about people who don’t even realize that they are sabotaging their dreams by the choices they make? Do they get stronger?  Or do they just keep getting further and further in the hole?  What about harmful addictions? They really can kill you, and its not making you stronger.  What about your attitude toward life?  Are you grateful? Or do you only see the bad things in life, never giving thanks for the good things?

I think the true answer here, is that you have to realize there is a problem and define it before you can do anything about it.  You have to face the reality that something is happening over and over in your life, and the only way to make it stop is to acknowledge it.  If you keep hiding from these problems, and pushing them away, they never get fixed.  And if they never get fixed, they can’t make you stronger.

Instead of pushing away the things that bother you, go ahead and introduce them, feel them, hold them in your heart and ask yourself, “Why?”.  Make yourself aware of the fact that this problem is in your life for a reason, perhaps to teach you something, perhaps from poor choices you have made in your life. Nonetheless, it is there, and you are the only one who can make it leave.  It could be a bad habit, an addiction, or choosing friends and significant others poorly.  It could be a dead-end job, or a career path you wish you wouldn’t have followed.  It could be your health and diet, and having a body you don’t like.  It could be school and family problems that you can’t see a way out of.  There are so many things it could be, but if you don’t acknowledge it, and realize that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS, it won’t change.  Nothing changes unless you want it to change.

NOTHING IN THIS LIFE CHANGES UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO CHANGE IT!

You are the only one who can take the initiative to choose something else for your life.  You are only in control of you, and no matter how much you want it, you can’t change other people.  Believe me, its taken me awhile, but I’ve learned this.  You are in charge of you, everyone else is not your business.  Its great to be supportive to others, but you have to realize that you can’t change them or even make them see what they don’t want to see.  They are the only ones who can change themselves, just as you can only change you.  Sometimes its hard to watch someone you love continue to keep choosing the destructive path, the path that keeps them stuck.  But all you can do is point it out, keep them in your prayers, and hope for the best.

How does one initiate change?  You have to want it.  You have to choose the other path.  You have to say, “I’m going to change”, and then do it!  Choose to be grateful.  Choose to see the good things in life.  Choose to see that you are a beautiful person.  Ask for help for things you cannot do by yourself.  Get counseling. Get help.  Stop the reckless behavior.  Stop putting yourself down.  Stop wallowing in self pity.  Love yourself.  Love your life.  And try your hardest to choose love in everything you do.


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Blow like the Wind

The wind is unseen, yet its force causes the leaves to flutter and the branches to bounce.

The wind is invisible, yet one can feel it, on their skin and in their hair.

The wind is hidden from our eyes, yet our ears can perceive its presence.

The wind can be gentle; a breeze lightly teasing the grass.

The wind can be ferocious; tearing apart buildings and blowing down trees.

We can be like the wind; we can do many things without anyone seeing us.  But the results of our actions can be momentous.  Good or bad depends on the one who discerns, and the one who acts.

 

 


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Where Does Creativity Come From?

phone 906Sometimes I struggle with finding inspiration for my creativity.  I paint, I draw, I write, and I play music, I sew, crochet, and make jewelry.  Some days, the ideas roll through my mind like waves on the beach.  I have to write the extra things down so I don’t lose them.  Other days, I can’t come up with an original idea to save my soul.  That’s what makes me wonder, where does creativity come from?

There’s so many theories about this, but it still doesn’t make me able to turn it off and on at will.  Wouldn’t that be nice?  There’s nights where my brain can’t shut off, coming up with ideas for blogs and painting ideas;  color combinations and ideas for flower beds and planting things.  Other nights I fall right asleep.  Some days I start painting or writing, and I’m disappointed when its time to put things away and go back to work, or to bed, or to do chores.  Other days, I can stare at my painting supplies and feel nothing.

I do believe that creativity comes from a place deep within us, within our brains and our souls.  But its not an all-access place, it can only be opened with a key.  Sometimes, the key is in the lock, ready to be turned by the lyrics of a long forgotten song, or the flash of a bird flying through the brilliant blue sky.  Sometimes the key has been hidden, and the lock doesn’t open.  I can try to force it open, but it usually doesn’t work.

I have learned that, in my mind anyway, creativity needs inspiration, and that inspiration is my key.  I can be inspired by many things, or sounds, or songs, or pictures.  I can  be inspired, but I can’t make inspiration.  I have to find it outside myself.  I have to be adventurous.  I need to see, and hear, and read, and sing, and be open to the possibilities all around me.  I need space, and quiet, and look deep within my heart and mind to find it.  I need to experience life in order to find inspiration to be life and express life.

But I also need to be able to look within myself to make that inspiration come to life.  I have to look within myself and find where it fits, what it’s doing, and what it stirs inside of me.

Art is life, and life is art.  Everyday of our lives is a picture we paint with our actions and thoughts.  We write the story of our lives on our hearts, and the hearts of those all around us.  We can choose to be an inspiration to others.  We can choose to be a song, or a story, or a picture, or all of those things in one.  Our lives are the one thing that we have to express, and we should make the most of it.  Every one of us is unique in our own way, and no one is going to have the same story or song, or picture as anyone else.  Each of us has our own perspective of life, the art of life; and each of us is an artist.  You are the ONLY ONE who can write your story, paint your picture, or sing your song.  No one else can do it for you.

So what will you write today?  Or paint? Or sing? What will inspire your life?  And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it?