Ramblings

Life, family, business

Author Archives: jeanneahlers


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Energize Yourself!

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It amazes me every time:  I can be tired, beat, ready for a nap,  and just talking to someone with a passion similar to mine can wake up my senses and energize me completely!  Its great to find like-minded people, there’s something so ENERGIZING about a shared passion, but only when its a positive passion, does it seem to feel that way.

Negativity breeds anger, hate, destruction.

Positivity breeds happiness, love, and community.

Energy is an amazing thing.  We each have an energy in us, a frequency that vibrates within us.  Some people call it a vibe, some an aura, and some, the Holy Spirit, but regardless of what you call it, its there.

Sometimes, I can hear it. It tells me through my gut instincts that something is good, or bad, or wrong.  My dogs can really feel a person’s energy, or maybe see it, and if they don’t trust someone, I tend to be leery of them, and vice versa. I have learned in life to trust my gut, to listen to the still small voice inside me that tells me things.  Sometimes it tells me about people, sometimes about situations, but I know if I ignore it, I may regret it.

Sometimes there’s a voice that tells me to be afraid of all kinds of things, and this is a different voice, the voice of oppression and pain, and low self-worth.  I have learned to ignore this voice, since its not an inspiring voice, its a destruction voice.  We all have this in ourselves.  I liken it to the angel and the devil on opposite shoulders trying to tell you what to do, like in the old cartoons.  The devil on my shoulder is always selfish, mean, and full of anger and hurt.  The angel is always trying to help others, to be self-less and others-more, trying to spread kindness and cooperation.

Each of us has to decide which of these little cartoon characters to listen to, and to trust.  Our life experiences play a big part in which we succumb to, but I hope that each of us takes the extra second to listen to those opposing views and pick the one that sounds the most like LOVE.

When we pick the love, the hope, the good things, the wonderful; we pick ourselves.  We pick to trust ourselves.  We choose to rise above. And by choosing to be self-less, we choose the higher road; the road less traveled, the road less polluted by the world.  The road we choose means a lot to those around us.

I remember hearing once that even though we can’t change the world we can change the world for one person.   That’s not hard actually.  But what if each of us truly did this.  What if each of us picked one person and worked to make their world a better world, their life a better life.  How many of us are there?  How many of us want to make the world a better place?  How many people would be changed?

I believe we would all be changed by this project. We would all be ENERGIZED.  We would all share this PASSION to help others, and we could work together, and we really could change the world.

Think about the last time you helped someone.  How did it make you feel?  If you had a chance every day to feel that way, would you do it?


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I am wonder-ful

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Have you ever wondered? Wondered about wondering?

I wonder about all sorts of things, and I love the fact that I can look up ANYTHING on the internet and learn about it.  Yes, I know, one has to be careful about making sure the website is reputable, and that it’s accurate, but there’s so much to be learned.

I fully believe that you don’t get old until you stop learning.

Your mind is a powerful thing!  It’s amazing how one’s brain has unlimited potential, as long as you believe it does.  You see, Henry Ford was correct when he said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t–you’re right.”

If you believe you can’t do something, then you can’t.  If you believe you’re too uneducated, too fat, too skinny, too old, too far gone, too addicted, too smart, or too poor, then you are.  You’ll never get be able to do that thing you want to do.

But if you believe you can, if you believe you are good enough, you can do anything.  The mind is so powerful, people have healed themselves of cancer, and an array of other medical and emotional problems. (Just Google it, you’ll see what I mean.)

What are you telling yourself?  What is it that you believe to be true about yourself?  The things that other people believe don’t matter, you are who you believe you are.  Listen to the words you tell yourself everyday.  Do you fill your brain with words of positivity? Or of negativity? What’s going on inside your brain while you’re busy doing other stuff?  Do you say bad things to yourself?  Do you tell yourself that you’re stupid? Or that you’ll never get it? Or that you’re just too old to learn all this new technology?

Or do you say things like, “Good job! I knew I could do it!”. Or something like, “It’s OK, you made a mistake, but now we know and won’t do it again.” (Sometimes forgiving ourselves is harder than forgiving others.) But  you need to listen and take note of the words you tell yourself every day.

Your words are powerful, and what you say does make an impact on what you believe, and ultimately, what you do with your life.  Tell yourself good things, you deserve it.


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Finding My Purpose in Life

How many times have you wondered about your life’s purpose?  Have you figured it out yet?

It amazes me that we expect every 18 year old to know what it is that they want to do for the rest of their lives. How often does a college student change their major, or question their choice, or quit.  One of my friends has always known she was destined to be a doctor, and she’s a great doctor.  Another friend told me she’s always wanted to be a mother, and she’s a great mother.  Yet others, like me, work a bunch of different jobs, always trying to figure out what we were meant to do, what we were meant to be.  I love being a mother, and I love my kids more than I ever thought possible.  But I still have that nagging thought:  If I ever figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I have thought that thought so many times over my life.  (I did figure out what I want to do, just not how to do it.)

When you see your life’s purpose, do see goals?  Or do you see purpose?  Do you see a mountain of stuff you’re going to buy with your piles of money, or do you see how you’ll feel, and who you’ve become?  Do you see how many people you have helped?

Everyone wants money, it makes life easier when there’s enough to pay all the bills and still have some left over. But money is a material thing that buys material things.  Once you’ve traded it for something, its no longer money, its stuff.  And I know you’ve heard the phrase, “You can’t take it with you.”  Its true, you can’t.  But what then, can you take with you?  Is there anything you can take with you?

I know the older I get , the wiser I get.  I realize that there’s so much more to life than just things.  I could have a millions dollars worth of things, and it might make me feel happy for a short time, but no things can actually keep you happy.  I believe that in order for us to be happy, we need a heart full of love.  And that’s something you can’t buy.  There’s no drug you can take that will fill your heart with love and keep it full.  And surprisingly, there is no person that can make you feel this way except yourself.  If you are miserable and depressed, knowing the people around you love you doesn’t fill your own heart with love.  You can have the best family, and the best spouse, and the best kids, but they can’t fill your heart with love.  You have to be willing to open your heart to love in order to make that happen.

And once you have done that, your heart will slowly fill.  It doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t make you feel like a different person right away.  But it does happen, and eventually one day, you’ll realize that instead of being miserable, you’re full of love!  You’re happy!  You’re glad!  You have a smile on your face that no one can take away.  It’s a love and joy that permeates your soul.

And that is something you’ll be able to take with you; your soul.  In fact, that’s who you are.

Once you are happy in your soul, perhaps you will see that your purpose in life isn’t necessarily a job, or a career path.  Perhaps, your purpose is to use your talent, your gifts,to give what you have to others.  Perhaps all of our life’s purposes are to give ourselves away to those around us.  My doctor friend uses her talent to bring healing to others.  Mothers use their talents to lovingly raise children into responsible adults.  So many of us have talents that we use everyday to help others, and we may not even realize it.  Maybe its not a paying position, but its a very important job.  Maybe it is a paying position, and we are able to make a living using our talents to help others.  I feel that as long as we are using our God-given talents to help others, and we use those talents in love, we truly are fulfilling our life’s purpose.

What talents do you have?  How do they play into your life’s purpose?

If you haven’t figured out your purpose yet, what things are you good at?  What things do you enjoy doing?


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On A Winter’s Day…

Headed east on the highway, the snow blows hard across the cracked asphalt.  In places it sticks, and other places it blows so hard it hides the path.  The morning sun shines bright, and creates glowing corn stalks in the fields, cut and frozen, sticking out of the ground like sticks and stumps.  The frozen grasses peak through the snow banks, and stand at attention, too cold to wave.  The skeletons of the trees shimmer in the sunlight, glimmering in the wind.  The snow flecks like glitter thrown into the wind, scatter through the air where the tree rows block the wind, then they roar like a white freight train where they fly freely.

I hold the steering wheel tightly, every shelter belt a place where the wind tries to push the travelers off the road.  The sheltered areas have the white road, and the open areas have the black.  But its business as usual as everyone is headed to work, or school, or to whatever destination is the normal hum-drum, day-in day-out trip.

The fox runs out across the ditch from a hiding spot tucked away from the cold and the howling winds. He hesitates at the highway edge; looking, sniffing.  He darts out, stops unsure, then runs again to the safety of the opposite ditch and a line of trees where he disappears quite quickly; his red coat somehow camouflaged into the dirt covered snow banks littered with tree limbs.

I press the scan button on the radio and listen to the chatter, the blips of songs I don’t recognize, and then settle on a song I know by heart.  I meet the cars, trucks, and semi’s, and notice the driver’s faces.  Some are on their phones, in animate conversation, smiling and laughing.  Others look like zombies, driving this road a zillion times; they could do it in their sleep, and probably have.  The sun reflects off their cars as they go by, shining in my eyes.

What do they see?

Do they see the sun shining in its winter glory?  Did they see the fox in his winter coat?

Do they see the grasses, dormant, waiting patiently for spring to arrive?  Do they see the beauty of the landscape?

The fields glow, littered with sparkling diamonds. As I turn off and change directions, the red glow still lingers in my sight when I blink, from the low winter sun shining into my field of vision.  The snow now rippling across the road from a different direction, creating the illusion that the vehicle is going much slower than it really is.  I check the speed, and adjust.

The days grow longer and the sun flies higher in the sky.  The air grows warmer and the plants and animals rejoice, the people rejoice.  In excited anticipation we plan our activities for the warmer months.  I plant the hard little seeds in flats of soil, placed on shelves in my basement.  I water them, give them light, and pray for them to grow.  The elusive ones I check with apprehension, nothing yet.  Will they sprout?  Will they grow?  Or will they lie dormant in the wet dirt and rot?

Some seeds are fragile, and require much care and pampering to grow. Other seeds are aggressive, growing out of control.  Nature is wild, unpredictable, like the fox, and the wind, and the snow.  People try to domesticate nature, and in some little ways we succeed; we plant the fields, cut trees, predict the weather.  But we are foolish if we believe we have any of it under control.

The fox curls up in his den, warm with his mate.  The wind howls in the branches over this little hole in the ground, and they sleep, oblivious.


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“My father told me I was a disgrace to the family.”  With tear-filled eyes, a young woman told me this today.

In my line of work, I often have people telling me their life’s stories.  No, I’m not a bar tender, I’m the local convenience store clerk.  I must have an sympathetic look about me, because over the years I have heard more stories than I can even fathom.  Many times, people talk to me because I do try very hard to just listen. I try not to offer advice unless they ask, I listen and sympathize.  That’s it. I’m empathetic.

Listening can be hard.  Our brains jump to conclusions, come up with strategy and advice, organize and plan.  Our brains think they know everything, what’s right, and what’s wrong, with us and other people.  Our brains say that we are right and the other person is wrong, we know what we’re talking about and we know the correct thing to do next, or say, or retaliate.

But our hearts, if we can learn to listen to our hearts, know truth much more than our brains.  Our hearts can imagine these scenarios with “us” as the main character.  Our hearts can see and hear heart break, pain, worry, fear, but also joy, love, happiness, and all the things in between.

Shame.  This girl felt shame when she told me what her dad said to her.  But she also felt abandonment.  This dad who loved her said these cutting remarks in front of her whole family in a moment of anger.  This shaking young woman became a teary abandoned little girl right in front of my eyes as she told me this story. My heart broke for her.  I know how it feels when you don’t meet the expectations of those you love and respect.

I know this woman, and I know her dad, who loves her very much.  But all those years of love and care, and hard work for your family, and the respect a parent has built up can come crashing down with just one word.  Words are very important, and very dangerous.  You have to be very careful using words, and think about the words that you choose and how they will affect the people you are giving those words to.  Words can build you up, or words can cut into your heart like a dagger and leave horrible wounds and scars that last forever.

DISGRACE

Is it unfair for me to expect unconditional love from my dad or my mom?  What if I’ve never had that kind of a relationship with my parents?  What if my parents were the kind who were selfish or absent, unloving or uncaring?

Regardless of how our parents treated us, we all need to remember that we are who we choose to be.  If you choose to live in your despair, you will always feel the negative things in life.  But if you choose to live in your happiness, you will feel the the positive things in life.  Some of the happiest people I know had some of the worst childhoods.  Some of the most depressed people I know grew up in higher class families with attentive parents and had all the material things they could ask for.  How can this be?

You have to choose which words you believe.  And always remember that you don’t have to take the words that other people try to give you.  Its a learning process, but saying “no, thank you”, to the words you don’t want is much better than taking those words anyway and trying to figure out what to do with them later.  Once you’ve taken the words as your own, its much harder to get rid of them, than if you just refused to take them in the first place.

Only you have that power.  Only you can choose what to believe about yourself, which words you choose to keep, that you feel define you, who you are to yourself. Those are the words that mean the most, the words that live in your heart.  If you can find a peaceful place to listen to your heart, which words would your heart say you are?


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Hindsight’s 20/20

If hindsight is 20/20, what is foresight?  Can I get some glasses for that?

Hindsight can be useful, don’t make the same mistakes twice.  But we need to remember not to dwell on those mistakes too much.  What would happen if you stared into the rearview mirror for the whole trip?  You’d never get anywhere!  Its impossible to move forward if you’re dwelling too much on the past.

Life can be tough.

We all make mistakes.  Sometimes, forgiving ourselves is the hardest forgiveness there is.  I should have known better.  I can’t believe I did that! What was I thinking?  The past is the past. We can’t go back and change things, so instead, we need to forgive and move on.  Maybe you messed up, but you learned something.  You learned what you shouldn’t do, so next time you will know better, you won’t do that, and you’ll think about what you do or say before you do it or say it.

We all need to learn from those mistakes and move on.  Stop looking in the rearview mirror and start looking out the windshield instead! There are so many opportunities out there, and we need to be looking forward to find them.  So many people seem to walk through life in a trance, just barely getting by, just barely noticing life passing them by.  Its so easy to operate on autopilot, we don’t even notice what’s going on.

The kids are growing up way too fast.  The person in the mirror is looking older by the year.  Our friends and family members are moving away, losing touch, or maybe even passing on.  We all need to learn to slow down, take the time to have that conversation with grandma, that cup of coffee with your dad, or that beer with your friends.  Block an hour out of your schedule to play a game with your kids, or take your daughter shopping, or grab a burger with your son.   Shut off the TV and your cell phone and have a meal with your spouse, in the quiet of your kitchen with no one but each other.  Ask how their day was, how’s the new guy at work working out, how the drive home was. And when they answer, actually listen as if there will be a quiz later!

A relationship with good communication is a great relationship.  The guesswork is taken care of.  I know what you want, and you know what I want.  Face it, most spouses are no good at reading minds or taking hints!  So say it like it is, say what you mean, don’t expect your spouse to magically read your thoughts.  That advice alone is enough to save a lot of marriages (and friendships)!

So what I want you to take from this is: don’t dwell too much on the past, and don’t worry too much about the future.  Live life here and now, because when this moment is gone, its gone forever.  Make every moment count!


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Its always your choice!

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” – Denis Waitley

Always choose to have a good day.  Even when things don’t go as planned, it’s up to you to either let them get you down, or let them roll, like water off a duck’s back.


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Ramblings, with Jeanne

Greetings!

I want to share stories of our lives, our families, and business endeavors.  I’m a small, very small, business owner, and have worked in many jobs over the years.  I like to think I have learned a great deal about life and business through these jobs, and I want to share that knowledge with you.

Whether it be stories of customer service, how to deal with people, or questions about how to make yourself a better boss or a better employee, I want to hear them.  Working together, we can learn about each other and from each other.  Why make the same mistakes that others have already made? Why not learn from their mistakes so we don’t need to make them again?

We’re all in this together.  Let’s get moving!!