Ramblings

Life, family, business

“Your Stupid”

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How many times have you seen this in the comment section of some news article or some political commentary? Whenever I read it, I want to ask “your stupid what?”.  Is it your stupid comment? Your stupid opinion? Or are they trying to say “you’re stupid”?

You see, I have the grammar police in my head much of the time, and I notice grammar mistakes very easily, (unless it’s in something I wrote myself).  There’s a reassuring voice inside my head that tells me that I’m better than they are because I paid attention in English class all those years in school.  I’m better than they are because I can correctly use a contraction.

What does your voice tell you? Are you better than others? In what way?

I know many of us struggle with the perception that we are better than others because of our opinions or beliefs, or the family situation we were born into, or other outwardly reasons. I’m better than you because I’m from a well to do family. I’m a vegan. I’m smarter. I’m more mature. I’m prettier. I’m stronger. I work out more.  I got the promotion that you didn’t.  I get paid more. I’m taller. I’m skinnier.  My grass is greener than yours. My kids go to the “right” school and are smarter, more athletic, and more talented than yours.

When you feel these things, that you’re better than everyone, its dangerous.  It means that it has become easier for us to demoralize others, to lose our compassion, and our empathy.  If we see ourselves on a higher playing field than others, we can’t relate to them truly with love because we think we’re better than.

The opposite is also true.  What if it’s your brain that’s saying “you’re stupid”?  If you tell yourself that you’re not good enough, that’s just as bad as saying someone else isn’t good enough.  If you look at others and think they’re better than me because <insert reasoning here>, you’ll always feel bad on the inside.  You’ll never reach your full potential if you don’t believe in yourself.  It’s a terrible life to always compare yourself to others.

What if each of us realized that we are made to be exactly who we are, in this body, with this brain?  Who do you compare yourself to?  Are you in competition to be someone else?  Are you in competition with someone to be better than they are?  It’s a losing battle if you are.  You see, I can’t be you, and you can’t be me.  I have different talents and abilities than you, and that’s a good thing! We are all unique individuals, yet we are all connected.  We all have a life energy within us that connects us to others. Its hard to feel that energy if you’re too busy comparing yourself to others and trying to be better than them, or thinking you’re less than they are.

We all have faults, every person does.  And sometimes its easy to judge the faults of others and think we are better.  Its also easy to fall into the trap of thinking our faults are the worse faults there are, and we’re never going to be good enough.

I confessed my “better than” feeling to you, now I’d love to hear yours. I’d love it if you’d leave me a comment, even if you’re just correcting my grammar.

Author: jeanneahlers

I am a happily married mother of two awesome kids, an organic gardener, and small business owner.

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